When a devoted reader asks you to update your blog then you should. That’s why I’m updating. That and for no other reason. I have really nothing to update you about – my life is really very boring these days. Haha.

Ok let me see, what can we talk about? I enjoyed the comments on the previous post. That topic elicited the most amount of comments I ever had so yay for that. But really, thanks everyone for responding to that.

What else? Some of you might not know this but I’m throwing my friend a baby shower next month. Sometimes I feel so blessed just to have a friend here! You have no idea! Mundane stuff like going to the mall with the friend or having lunch with her just make me feel SO blessed!! I was so terribly lonely without her. She’s really a burst of hope and happiness in my life. AlhamduLilah. Yay for friends. They’re truly a gift from God. And this particular one is really a sweetie pie – I love people who’re vibrant and full of life and expressive and she’s all those things! I always have so much fun with her and it’s a bonus that she lives so close to my house. It’s really fun.

Maybe it’s cuz of the above or not, I don’t know, but this time I’m doing good alhamduLilah. I mean I’m still here and haven’t rushed back to Pakistan. I’m doing ok. Really ok. I’m happy. Truly happy. And it’s not cuz something new has happened or anything; it’s merely cuz I’ve put things in perspective and you know who’s helped me do that? My online friends. It’s difficult to meet so many people in real life and keep up so many relationships but it’s very much possible online and that’s exactly what’s happened. I’ve made so many friends who’ve shown me how to stay strong in the face of extreme adversity – it’s one thing to watch people on TV go through horrid stuff and be tough but it’s entirely another to be able to talk to such people, know their stories first hand, watch them persevere and survive. It’s because of them, my gifted friends, Sayang, Diyah, Cindi and others too who’ve helped me, maybe without even knowing it. Thank you guys and may God be with you

This is totally random but I needed to share this. When I first moved to America, I never touched chicken or beef unless it was “halal” but about 8 or so months into my visit, I attended an ISNA conference in Chicago where a scholar (Jamal Badawi) clearly said that it was ok to eat meat (chicken and beef) in America and even if someone chose not to eat it, at least they shouldn’t go around calling it “haram”, that there simply isn’t enough evidence to call it that. I then did some of my own research and reached the conclusion that it was ok to eat. I’ll get into the specs later. (I initially refrained from it because my relatives here were calling it haram and not eating it and I wanted to do some research before making a decision.)

Ok so since then, every few months, for some reason I decide it’s better to just give it up so I stop eating it but a few weeks/months later, I lose my conviction and go back to it! Like I just can’t convince myself that I shouldn’t be eating it. On the other hand, I look at all these people who practice so much self-control and don’t touch that meat no matter what and I feel like my eeman (faith) is weaker than theirs so I feel inadequate and I give it up again and so on.

My biggest problem with not being able to stay away from “non-zabihah” meat is that I can’t convince myself that I should not eat it. I’ve done every amount of research that I could. There is no point in reading what scholars have to say because there are many in favor of it and many against it, in the end, it’s still your own decision. So I recently did some more research and also discussed the matter with my very knowledgable Arabic instructor. After this, I reached the following conclusions:

1- Muslims are definitely allowed to eat meat from people of the book. (The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them.(Quran 5:5))

2- People in America are classified as people of the book because of the following considertions and criterien as specified by Islamic text.

• Ruler of the country declares himself/herself Christian.
• Majority of the people in this country are Christian (take the fact that only Christmas is celebrated as a religious holiday).
• It doesn’t matter that they don’t practice their religion as God revealed it to them. This they have been doing since before the Quran was revealed and Allah still allowed for us to eat their food. In the Quran, God curses the people of the book for their transgressions but still allows us their food.

3- This hadith indicates that Allah’s name can be pronounced before consuming the food.

Hadith narrated by Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her):
Some people said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Meat is brought to us by some people and we are not sure whether the name of Allah has been mentioned on it or not (at the time of slaughtering the animals).” Allah’s Apostle said (to them), “Mention the name of Allah and eat it.” (Sahih Bukhari)

4- Lastly, one of the most important discoveries for me was the fact that animals are definitely not killed by electrocusion. After a lot of digging and research I found two things.

• In America, it is illegal to electrocute chickens and at the most, some plants dip chickens into water charged with electricity to numb the chickens, if this immersion kills any birds, they are discarded.
• The cattle is electrocuted but never killed because of it, if it is killed, it is discarded.

Based upon the above facts and the verses of Quran which indicate that it is not allowed to make anything haram upon yourself when it is not is also a grave sin, I get very confused about what to do.

Even so, I’m not 100% convinced by the above points. There’s still lingering doubt in my mind because of which I’ve currently reduced my consumption of meat from “people of the book” but not altogether refrained from it.

A very important factor in all of this for me is, that, as I understand from my study of Allah’s word, I need to be true to what I believe and not to my whims. The truth is, my heart doesn’t feel like it’s wrong to eat this food. And this is not because it’s easy but just because it makes more sense to me. God knows I’ve done my best to see both sides of the story and God knows I’m not one to succumb to wrongdoing and call it logic. A big evidence of this is the fact that though I haven’t found any concrete verses to show me that I should wear hijab, I still do so because after all the research, my heart tells me I should wear it. Just like I can’t bring myself to stay off the meat, I can’t bring myself to not wear hijab. One is easy, the other hard but I do them both not because of their level of difficulty but because I believe in my heart that I’m doing the right thing. I’m being true to myself and I can only hope and pray that Allah will accept it from me and forgive me my ignorance.

Please let me know what you think.

Today was one of those rare days when I feel incerdibly blessed, alhamduLilah.

First of all, it was all of you with your sweet comments. I really can’t believe that this blog is missed when it isn’t updated. I never really write about anything particular. I never have any wise words to offer like some of my fellow-bloggers and I really have a very boring life. So I’m truly humbled by your appreciation and love. Thank you so much.

Then my SIL sent me such a sweet email. I’m always caught offguard by her sincerety for my family. Besides all the other sweet things she wrote, towards the end she wrote, “I just hope and pray that we get rid of X (my father’s business partner)- related problems for gud. It hurts to see Papa so overburdened with it all.” Reading that just filled my heart with so much love for this dear girl. When she talks about my parents, it really seems like she’s talking about her own. She calls our parents Mama and Papa, like we do. And when I read this, I thought, she doesn’t just call them that, she thinks of them that way too. I just felt immensely grateful to Allah for giving my parents a DIL like her, with her there, I can feel some fragment of relief.

And finally, I cherish today because I had a conversation with the BFF that I was craving for a long time. It’s kind of a pity that we never had a heart-to-heart when I was in Vancouver but that’s because our husbands were always around and it was impossible to have a private conversation! I’ll tell you details about that conversation some other day, perhaps but for now suffice it to say that she’s a very private person when it comes to sharing her feelings. She isn’t the kind to jump with glee or wail in grief. She is forever composed and contained and for a person like me who is so overly expressive, her controlled affection is sometimes trying. I’ve known her for more than ten years so I’ve accostomed myself to her curbed love but today, in a certain context, she happened to say some very sweet things and coming from someone like her, they meant the world to me. Not that I ever doubt her love but once in a while, it’s wonderful to be reminded you’re that special to someone

Oh and another thing, I was telling my husband how surprised I was that some of the people at the SS Forums couldn’t figure out who I was in the pictures so I told them that the beautiful one in the pictures is my friend and the not-so-attractive-needs-to-lose-weight one is me but they were still so kind and told me I wasn’t so ugly. LOL!! So at night, when he was half asleep, he said, “Why do you think you’re not beautiful? You’re very very beautiful.” And though I know he only thinks that because he loves me, I knew it’s still a blessing and it made my heart burst with happiness.

God has given me everything I’d ever need in my family and friends. (Everyone say mashaAllah). Now if only I could remember that every day

P.S. People are always saying how you should never say too much about your blessings because of the ‘evil eye’ but I don’t believe that recounting my blessings and sharing them with others will incur bad luck. I will pray for the evil to stay away but I will count my blessings inshaAllah. We are always so quick to complain so why not say thank you ever so often?

I was gonna post the link with the password on the wordpress blog but looks like WordPress is not working right now. If you’re a member of the SS forums, I posted the information there. Id you’re not a member there, email me and I’ll send you the info. In the mean time, I’m posting a few highlights here.

I’m so sorry for disappearing on my sweet readers…. all of whom are really so wonderful, it’s not even funny! Hehe..

I don’t know.. life’s just been a little chaotic lately and blogging didn’t seem to be calling me too much but I do finally wanna share some things with you. The first of which will be that I came back from Canada today. I had soooooooooo much fun, it’s not even funny!! (Ok that’s my new line, in case you didn’t notice, I say it so often…. it’s not even funny .. let’s create initials for that INEF.. sounds more like a branch of UNICEF but whateves.. LOL!!)

When I post the pictures of my trip, I swear you’ll be blown away. I mean Vancouver was just soooooo pretty and even though it was winter, there were plenty of things to see and do. We also went to Seattle and actually we flew to Seattle and drove to Vancouver cuz then the ticket was about $400 bucks cheaper! But anyway Seattle was very beautiful too and they apparently call it the “Evergreen State” and aptly too!

So other than the sightseeing, it was great fun to spend a whole 8 or 9 days with my childhood best friend. She was such a gracious host, so kind and accomodating which I actually wasn’t expecting from her!! Haha!! Not that she’s not one of the kindest people I know, but she’s just a tad bit reserved when it comes to expressing her feelings but she really held no hospitality back and was just so magnificent all the way. And in fact, so was her husband, how many friends’ husbands do you feel so comfortable with that you’d take your husband and move in in the friend’s one room cramped apartment? Her husband is really a very sweet guy and really, he deserves a whole post for himself, he’s such a vibrant and funny person and in fact, when you see his pictures, you’ll be able to see some of that devilish charm in his dancing eyes. Hehee!! But anyway, I just thought it was SO kind of him to let us not only stay with them but give us so much of his time. I know this might not sound like a big deal in the American culture, but in desi culture, it IS a big deal! Hahaa!!

Please bear with me while I deal with the few hundered pictures we took and try to sort them out and finally upload them! I’m sure they’ll be worth the wait! Alright everyone, thanks for sticking around and do drop me a hello, it’s been a while since I heard from anyone except Bedouin (thanks, sweetie for missing me ) !!!