I’ve started school again. Major in psychology. Go figure. I feel like this has changed my life. I thrive on challenges and this is absolutely a challenge for me. I have no intention of “just getting by”. I’m going to put my heart and soul into this, inshaAllah and do great! I’m already doing pretty well and some of you might hate me for saying this, but after studying in Pakistan all my life, the style of studying here seems a lot easier to me. I know that’s setting myself up but what can I say, hopefully I won’t have to eat my words. Haha!

Ever since I started school, I’ve become a different person. I joined the gym and go there consistently, I eat better, I take care of myself and I feel wonderful, alhamduLilah. I feel like I’m the kind of person who needs to prove herself to herself and that’s the only way I’m happy. If you take that away from me, I wither inwardly. So now that I’m doing something I love and doing it so well, it revives my belief in myself and makes me want to be happy again.

I also had a wonderful trip to Pakistan and England. It was almost perfect. I feel like ever since I cast out unimportant people from my life, people who were leeching away on my kindness, I’ve started to appreciate my family even more. I’ve learnt that they will love you on your worst days, forgive you your missteps and actually care about your happiness. I’m blessed to have such a wonderful family, alhamduLilah.

Just imagine this, I love my Chachi’s lamb roast leg and she made it for me FOUR times.. among other things. I wanted to see Rab ne bana de jodi in the cinema and everyone had already seen it but they went for me again. I wanted to go to that restaurant on top of the mountain and my brother hates driving up there but he literally forced me there, knowing I was only saying ‘no’ because of him. Papa gave me lot of shopping money, it’s the only way he knows to show love. And Mama… well she’s just Mama, isn’t she?

It’s like I’m a new person inside. I don’t need approval from anyone. I know I’m special because of the love and happiness in my life. If I had so called friends who refused to see that, who were unkind and unfair and selfish… then it’s been their loss, not mine. Never mine.

Funny thing is, now that that “friend” virus has died inside me, more “friends” seem to be flocking my way. “Friends” who used to take me for granted are suddenly calling me and telling they miss me. It’s a cruel world where you have to rip out your heart before people will care for it.

However, gloomy, let’s not get. I’m happy.

Me, my Uncle, cousin and some friends joined the protesters at Trafalgar Square in London today to raise our voices against Israeli attacks on Gaza. It was a touching and somewhat heart-rending experience. I didn’t expect such a big crowd, such zealous protests, such passionate speeches… I was surprised when my heart constricted and my eyes fought to hold the tears. Please pray for the innocent people in Gaza and if there is a protest walk in your area, do play your meagre role in standing up against Israel’s cruelty and showing compassion for our innocent brothers and sisters in Palestine. 

I was always skeptical of Obama and I was honestly shocked at the faith and enthusiasm that Muslim Americans showed in him. I think before he won, I posted a comment to that effect on Facebook and had several friends ask me why I was cynical of Obama (instead of thinking he was the next Messiah, I guess) and I tried to tell them what I thought but they remained faithful. My biggest clue that Obama wouldn’t do squat for Muslims was when he vehemently denied having any ties with Muslims or his Muslim dad… almost as if it was a crime to be Muslim or have any kind of ties with them. To be fair to him, he did deny it nicely but nevertheless, he needn’t have addressed the issue so often, so strongly.

Secondly, it is absolutely foolish to think any president of United States will ever do anything to benefit the Muslim world or that any president of U.S. will ever stand up to Israel. Time has proved only too soon that Muslims needn’t have gotten so excited for Obama. Look at what he has to say about the cruel attacks on Gaza;

“The first job of any nation state is to protect its citizens. And so I can assure you that if — I don’t even care if I was a politician. If somebody was sending rockets into my house where my two daughters sleep at night, I’m going to do everything in my power to stop that. And I would expect Israelis to do the same thing.”

“In terms of negotiations with Hamas, it is very hard to negotiate with a group that is not representative of a nation state, does not recognize your right to exist, has consistently used terror as a weapon, and is deeply influenced by other countries. I think that Hamas leadership will have to make a decision at some point as to whether it is a serious political party seeking to represent the aspirations of the Palestinian people. And, as a consequence, willing to recognize Israel’s right to exist and renounce violence as a tool to achieve its aims. Or whether it wants to continue to operate as a terrorist organization. Until that point, it’s hard for Israel, I think, to negotiate with a country that — or with a group that doesn’t recognize Israel’s right to exist.” Source.

They know and we know and he knows this is all bull crap! There is no contest between the poor, oppressed, deprived people of Palestine and Israel’s U.S + U.K – aided nuclear power. There is no “war”. There is only extreme unfairness and genocide. But of course, no American President will ever admit that. We, Muslims, are as alone as ever in our causes.

Perhaps the only good thing Obama intends to do is end the Iraqi war but even that end is vague at best and every time he promises to do that, he also adds that the real terrorists are in Pakistan and Afghanistan and “we have to go in and take them out”!!! It baffles me completely why Muslims were so excited when he won the elections! At least, I, for one, had no hopes associated with him and am not the least bit surprised at his outrageous remarks about the massacre in Gaza. At the end of the day, he’s just another one of Israel’s many puppets.

My warmest, heartiest prayers are with the brave people of Palestine. May Allah give them the freedom they so deserve and need. And for all those who have been martyred, may Allah give them a beautiful place in heaven. Amen.